Academy Awards Acceptance Speech Generator.

Up for an Oscar, but too darned busy to write your acceptance speech? Have no fear! This handy-dandy interweb doo-dad can do the heavy lifting for you.

The Generator's Acceptance Speech for the Best Complexion in a Documentary Oscar:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly conjugate verbs! I feel so surgically enhanced! And this statue - it's so heavy! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to secretly suspect that even in my wildest fits of self-loathing, I never would have frantically prayed that this could ever be so meaningless. And to the other suck-ass nominees, I want each of you to know how totally saddened your fake smiles makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was not the father, I just had to take a Xanax and laugh about how freakish my experiences have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda cheap You know, there are so many back-stabbing leeches to thank! First off though, I want to thank the senile old bats of the Academy, who looked deep within their lint-encrusted navels before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank my guru, for being such a powerful force in my life. And to the hooker with the heart of gold, who taught me to take life by the day. And finally, to all the personal assistants I fired - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!

[ Academy Awards Acceptance Speech Generator ]

Random Daily Prompt Generator.

If you're a writer or a teacher, you can use the Random Daily Prompt Generator to find a suitable writing topic for your journal or your weblog.

Think of an interesting ceiling you once stared at and thought about. Write about you staring... and what it was that caused you to stare.

[ Random Daily Prompt Generator ]

Steven Seagal Movie Generator.

The titles and plots are randomly assembled from the titles and plots of actual Steven Seagal films.



Shadows on Siege, starring: Steven Seagal, DMX and Robbie Gee.
Plot Summary:
Steven Seagal is a buddhist monk who needs to stop an evil business tycoon (played by Robbie Gee) from hijacking a Navy Battleship. Seagal is joined by a police officer and old friend (played by DMX). With the odds against them, can they prevent Robbie Gee from killing off a girl Seagal has never met?

[ Steven Seagal Movie Generator ]

Evangelist Name Generator.

So you want to be an evangelist? The first thing to realize is that an evangelist is a performer, and as such his name is his calling card. The most difficult thing to decide, once you've accepted the call of God to enter the ministry, is what name you will adopt. Save yourself heartache and use the Evangelist Name Generator.

The Generator's Evangelist name is:
Pastor Buckminster Lee Widders

[ Evangelist Name Generator ]

New Media Company Generator.

Starting up a new media firm?
Stuck for a good name and a catchy tagline?
Use the New Media Company Generator.

The Generator created this New Media Company:



[ New Media Company Generator ]

Sick Call Excuse Generator.

The Sick Call Excuse Generator is helpful to you in deciding the excuse for your forthcoming day off, like:

Constipation has made me a walking time bomb, or
My twitch is back and I might damage something, or
My poison ivy is oozing pretty bad today.

[ Sick Call Excuse Generator ]

Cutesy Pet Name Generator.

So, you've just hooked a great mate, but don't have a disgustingly cute pet name for them yet? Prepare for an endearing experience.

The Generator's Cutesy Pet Name is Doodle Nooks

[ Cutesy Pet Name Generator ]

Totem Generator.

A totem animal can stay with you a lifetime, an eternity, or just as long as it needs or wishes to. Take a moment to prepare yourself for the sacred act of receiving your totem. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Feel your heart beating within you, and make a promise to honour your totem.



The Generator's totem animal is a Wildcat.

[ Totem Generator ]

Ninja Burger Name Generator.

Simply enter your real name in the space provided to learn your new secret Ninja Burger Ninja Name. Use this name in all future dealings with Ninja Burger customers.

The Generator's Ninja Burger Name is Haruyasu Kato-san

[ Ninja Burger Name Generator ]

Celtic Cross Stitch Generator.

Use this handy online chart generator to create free cross stitch charts for Names, Captions, or any other text, in a Celtic typestyle.



[ Celtic Cross Stitch Generator ]

Nostradamus Quatrain Generator.

Nostradamus, the mere mention of this prophetic Frenchman conjures up mystical thoughts in mortal men. The fully automated Nostradamus Quatrain Generator can provide you with a personalized quatrain, already translated into English, for use in your daily life.

The year that the brothers of the lily come of age
The bird of prey offers itself to the heavens
Two great rocks for a long time will make war
And then Arethusa will color a new river red

[ Nostradamus Quatrain Generator ]

Biscuit Name Generator.

Create your name in biscuits.



[ Biscuit Name Generator ]

Manhattan Socialite Name Generator.

Ever wondered what it'd be like to be an Upper Eastsider? Well, you'll probably never know, but you can at least have the name of one.

The Generator will be adored as Clark the Bartender.

[ Manhattan Socialite Name Generator ]

Essay Generator.

Simply type your topic into the box and make an essay on anything.
Different every time!

An essay on The Generator Blog.

'Brilliant', 'Quite Good', 'What?', these are just some of the comments made recently in the press regarding The Generator Blog.
Let us consider the words of that silver tongued orator, one of the great political analysts Achilles H. Amster 'I don't believe in ghosts, but I do believe in democracy.' Amazingly, he new nothing of The Generator Blog until he was well into his thirties. To paraphrase, the quote is saying 'The Generator wins votes.' Simple as that. I hope, for our sake that The Generator will endure.
Did I mention how lovely The Generator Blog is?
To reiterate, The Generator Blog may not be the best thing since sliced bread, but it's still important. It questions, invades where necessary and statistically it's great.

[ Essay Generator ]

Bunny Name Generator.

Are you worthy of Bunny-dom? Ever wonder what your name would be if you were born a magical bunny?
Well, wonder no more!

The Generator's Bunny name is:
Basil Stag Hare Wibby Wabby Rabbit.
Scary, isn't it?

[ Bunny Name Generator ]

Squirrel Name Generator.

So you are in touch with your inner squirrel and want to know your true squirrel name. Just take this scientific test and submit your name to discover it.

The Generator's Squirrel name is:
Sergeant Drunkenpaws.

[ Squirrel Name Generator ]

Logline Generator.

Create random log lines, like these:

A lumberjack writes love letters to a stunt double at a bus station.
Six monks search for their missing brother-in-law in a pastry shop.
A cynical husband and an old bird watcher ponder the meaning of life while sharing an umbrella with a discriminating street performer.

[ Logline Generator ]

Timeline Generator.

Simply type in the name of your kingdom, the starting year for your timeline, the years between each major event, and the number of events to generate, then click the Generate Timeline button. It's just that easy.

A Historical Timeline of The Kingdom of Generators.
In the year 2000, it is written that a mine cave-in occurred. In the year 2001, fighting between 'Evil' temples occurred and an Evil Figure died by mishap.
In the year 2002, there was an attack by a group of poorly organized raiders. In the year 2003, there was an epidemic/disease with an infection rate of 51% - 60% and a mortality rate of 30% - 39%.
In the year 2004, there was an invasion to increase the national treasury. In the year 2005, there was a military campaign launched to expand borders.

[ Timeline Generator ]

Birthchart Generator.

Would you like a free personal astrological birth chart without having to pay a lot of money to some fake gypsy hag at a carnival? Then look no further. Enter your details and have the computer generate your very own personal horoscope.



[ Birthchart Generator ]

Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator.

If you are from a dysfunctional family, you have either received or written a letter like this. Don't waste any more of your valuable time digging deep into the depths of your soul to tell your family off. Instead, let the Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator do all the hard work for you.

[ Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator ]

Comic Strip Generator.

Another Comic Strip Generator.
This one is from France and it has a bazillion possibilities.



(via Eric Zorn's Notebook)

[ Comic Strip Generator ]

Theory Generator.

The Theory Generator, using the Theorybot created by Philipp of Google Blogoscoped, creates random theories. The Theorybot is capable of creating 8 million constantly updated theories.
Here's an example:

Metaphorical Religion
We can see vision is an important metaphorical ingredient in Shakespeare's emphasis upon the importance of parenting with the immense power of religion and ethnicity. Without any doubt.
Thus, in nearly every religion the sun was the supreme of the UFO as deity was not merely metaphorical. Shakespeare, steeped in Ovidian mythology, knew Iris well.

References
1. The Merchant of Venice: Sins of the Father
2. SHG - Condon Report, Sec V, Chapter 1: UFOs in History

[ Theory Generator ]

Random Medical Term Generator.

The Random Medical Term Generator generates a...um...random medical term.
Like this one:

endotheca:
The tissue which partially fills the interior of the interseptal chambers of most madreporarian corals. It usually consists of a series of oblique tranverse septa, one above another.

I knew that!

[ Random Medical Term Generator ]

Haiku Generator.

Another Haiku Generator. This one is called Jaiku, a Java applet that generates random Haiku. Or at least three-line text objects that generally have the 5-7-5 syllable pattern that real Haiku usually has.

Memories still bend
Shadows are as sweet as dreams
When clouds and men sing

[ Haiku Generator ]

Random Knowledge Generator.

The Random Knowledge Generator will select a random number of files from the few thousand living in its archives. No pretenses, predilections, predispositions or prestidigitation. Choose whichever one you wish and continue as needed.

[ Random Knowledge Generator ]

Planet Of The Day Generator.

There are about 200 billion stars in our Milky Way galaxy. Over the next million years our descendents will spread among the stars in an exponential explosion of life, remaking the galaxy as surely as life has remolded Earth in its own image.

The Terranova Planet of the Day Generator is a highly premature anticipation of this exhilarating milestone in the endless adventure of life and intelligence. Every day a new planet is created, and an image of it, as seen from the bridge from your approaching starship, is produced.

[ Planet Of The Day Generator ]

They Fight Crime Generator.

He's an uncontrollable moralistic vagrant from a doomed world. She's a sharp-shooting foul-mouthed pearl diver who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt. They fight crime!

[ They Fight Crime Generator ]

Where You've Been Generator.

If you're from the United States, you can mark if you've been to, lived in (long term, no vacations) or are currently living in what State.
The result will look like this:

bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C /

(via Eric Zorn's Notebook)

[ Where You've Been Generator ]

Bumper Sticker Generator.

Design your own custom bumper stickers. There are ready-made stickers but you can also upload your own design. You have to pay for them but you can always make a screendump of your sticker and use it for your own purpose.
Because of trademark laws I am not allowed to show you any previews.

(via Eric Zorn's Notebook)

[ Bumper Sticker Generator ]

Excuse-O-Mat Generator.

Things go wrong, which is awfully annoying of them, and then comes the really difficult thing: explaining what happened. What do you do when the old excuses have been used once too often?
Why, you just use the Excuse-O-Mat Generator for one of 3.6 million different convincing, ready-made excuses!

As for you, don't give me any of your whining. In words of one syllable: you aren't exactly the Dalai Lama yourself. Some of us worry more about our own faults, not someone else's. But if it makes you happy, I'm sorry. Jeez, people can be so manipulative.

[ Excuse-O-Mat Generator ]

Cosmic Truth Generator.

Understand the true purpose of your cosmic journey. Generate your own cosmic truth.

Just as there are twelve months in a year, there are twelve eggs in a dozen. This is because of the cycle of electro-harmonic equivalence. the cosmic principle of volumetric reactivity is encoded in the US one dollar bill.

[ Cosmic Truth Generator ]

Tarot Spread Generator.

You have a choice of three different readings using the exceptionally popular Rider-Waite deck. The Three Card Spread is a quick way to gain insight into the emerging arc of the past, present, and future. The Five Card Spread is similar but provides a glimpse of hidden influences as well as some additional advice about the future. The Celtic Cross is perhaps the most widely employed approach for the serious student of Tarot.

(via Eric)

[ Tarot Spread Generator ]

Typographic Book Search Generator.

Amaztype is a typographic book search generator using Amazon web services. You decide what to use (books, music or video/dvd), type in a word and that word will be generated out of book or music covers that contain that particular word.



[ Typographic Book Search Generator ]

Talmud Server Generator.

The Random Talmud Server is a chance-guided service for those who love the sea of Talmud.

Three things restore a man's good spirits: beautiful sounds, sights, and fragrances. B. Berachot 57b.

[ Talmud Server Generator ]

Jack O'Lantern Generator.

Create your own Jack O'Lantern.

[ Jack O'Lantern Generator ]

Catbert's Performance Review Generator.

You have to review the performance of a co-worker who exhibits the intelligence of a slug, but since today's incompetent co-worker could become tomorrow's incompetent boss, you don't want to say anything offensive. Do you lie?

Solve the problem with Catbert's Performance Review Generator! Its vague sentences can be interpreted as praise by your dimwitted co-worker, but you'll know that 'you would be lucky to get him to work for you' means he never works.

Performance Appraisal for Mr. Generator:

Mr. Generator was tasked with many assignments this year. His performance defies measurement. It would be accurate to say that he has been responsible for the changes in our work group dynamics. His work may greatly impact the company. Many wonder at the extent of his knowledge and his core values show through in his work. No one has caught Mr. Generator sleeping on the job. He handles assignments with unlooked-for creativity.

[ Catbert's Performance Review Generator ]

Name Generator.

It's fast! It's fun! It's another Name Generator and it'll use space-age computer technology to give you a name based on information which you, the casual web user, provide!

What are you waiting for? You know you need a wacky funny name to share with your friends and acquaintances!

[ Name Generator ]

Conspiracy Theory Generator.

Confused about how the world works? Why not make sense of it all with a grand conspiracy theory! However, there are just too many of these floating around. Here you can come up with a Wacko Right Wing Conspiracy Theory of your very own.

Simply enter your selections, click the button at the bottom of the page and print it out. You'll be the hero of your next militia meeting. Have fun, and remember...They are Watching You!

(via Google Blogoscoped)

[ Conspiracy Theory Generator ]

Fable Generator.

This generator creates random fables. To display another random fable, just hit 'reload' on your browser.

A wizard, sitting in the marketplace, was telling the fortunes of the passers-by when a person ran up in great haste, and announced to him that the doors of his house had been broken open and that all his goods were being stolen.

He sighed heavily and hastened away as fast as he could run. A neighbor saw him running and said, 'Oh! you fellow there! you say you can foretell the fortunes of others; how is it you did not foresee your own?'

[ Fable Generator ]

Zen Koan Generator.

A koan is a puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening and usually one of the sayings of a great Zen master of the past.

Nansen saw the monks of the eastern and western halls fighting over a cat. He seized the cat and told the monks: 'If any of you say a good word, you can save the cat.'
No one answered. So Nansen boldly cut the cat in two pieces.
That evening Joshu returned and Nansen told him about this. Joshu removed his sandals and, placing them on his head, walked out.
Nansen said: 'If you had been there, you could have saved the cat.'

Mumon's Comment: Why did Joshu put his sandals on his head? If anyone answers this question, he will understand exactly how Nansen enforced the edict. If not, he should watch his own head.

[ Zen Koan Generator ]

Military Codename Generator.

The US military will have to spend lots of precious hours to come up with sound codenames for all their military actions. Take a bit of load off the hard working men and women at the Pentagon by creating a codename.

This would be a good codename for a ground battle in Iran:
Vigilant Promise.

[ Military Codename Generator ]

Business Reply Generator.

The Business Reply Generator lets you easily create responses to send back to the spammers harassing you.

Simply paste in their details, and click 'Generate.' Then, cut and paste the result into a reply email. Who knows... It could be a start of a very lucrative business relationship.

[ Business Reply Generator ]

Cartoon-O-Mat Cartoon Generator.

No need to try drawing a cartoon yourself. The Cartoon-O-Mat generates a new cartoon every time you reload the page.



[ Cartoon-O-Mat Cartoon Generator ]

Merovingian Name Generator.

Ever heard of Clovis? OK, probably not. He was king of the Franks, converted to Christianity by his wife Bathilde, and brought a good chunk of Europe under the thumb of his warlord dynasty, known as the 'Merovingians.'
Anyhoo, the Merovingians didn't do much for Europe, or for themselves, for that matter. They did, however, have one thing going for them... very funny names.

The Generator's Merovingian name is: Theuderic the Imbecile.

[ Merovingian Name Generator ]

Crossword Generator.

Another Crossword Puzzle Generator.
Enter up to 20 words and hints (clues) to create your own puzzles. There's no need to use all 20 words, you could use as little as two. Hints can be left blank.

(via Google Blogoscoped)

[ Crossword Generator ]

Lucky Number Generator.

Do you wanna know what your lucky number is?

The Generator's lucky number is: three.

[ Lucky Number Generator ]

Band Generator.

Manufacture your own rock band with the best of 'em.



(via Google Blogoscoped)

[ Band Generator ]

Anagram Generator.

An anagram is a rearrangement of the letters of a word to make another word. A famous Latin anagram was an answer made out of a question asked by Pilate. The question was 'Quid est veritas?' (What is truth?), and the answer 'Est vir qui adest' (it is the man who is here.)
This Anagram Generator will take an English name, phrase, and so on, and rearrange the letters to form other English words.

Generator = a gore rent, greater on, rage tenor, neat roger, rear get on, organ tree.

(via Eric Zorn's Notebook)

[ Anagram Generator ]

Name Generator.

This page generates weird and wonderful male and female forenames. Not by picking random ones out of a hat (like most of the name generators out there), but actually twisting the English language in such a way to hopefully generate new and unique names.
You have to feed the generator the first two letters of a name and it will generate 20 random names starting with those two letters.

I entered 'Ge' and here are the results:

Georio, Geoffran, Gerain, Gerrodrodoreal, Gerardin, Gelincent, Geneal, Geralph, Gerand, Gerron, Genicky, Genewtonson, Geramy, Georento, Gelon, Georen, Gelonny, Germanto, Genick and Gelou.

(via Richard)

[ Name Generator ]

Road Sign Generator.

Create your own Road Sign.



[ Road Sign Generator ]

Hawaiian Name Generator.

Find out what your name would be in Hawaii with the Hawaiian Name Generator.

The Generator would be: Ke Kenelakolu.

[ Hawaiian Name Generator ]

Future Job Generator.

The Generator was actually thinking about retiring from work, but maybe he should reconsider.

According to the Future Job Generator he's going to be a Hot Actor soon.

[ Future Job Generator ]

Adventure Generator.

Create your own adventure. Pick a story from a small list, follow the directions and you'll get a chance to create an adventure starring you and your friends.



(via Google Blogoscoped)

[ Adventure Generator ]

Fluffy Kitten Name Generator.

What's your fluffy kitten name?

The Generator's fluffy kitten name is: Whiskers Merryweather.

[ Fluffy Kitten Name Generator ]

Name Generator.

The random name generator uses data from the US Census to randomly generate male and female names. Use it for screenplays, fake id's, car rentals, pick-up lines, books, prank calls or movies.

The Generator created these names:

Jamie Cothern
Guy Longfellow
Ted Seamans

[ Name Generator ]

Fantasy Character Generator.

The HeroMachine 2.0 is the ultimate fantasy entertainment character creator.
The Generator created this hero:



(via Google Blogoscoped)

[ Fantasy Character Generator ]

Acronym Liar Generator.

Type a word into the Acronym Liar Generator and it takes an existing acronym and changes it using the word you typed.



[ Acronym Liar Generator ]

Love Story Generator.

You decide how a love story unfolds.

Betty is a 21 year old female, living in Chicago; she likes money, and she dislikes nothing in particular. Jack is a 27 year old male, living in Hollywood; he likes Betty, and he dislikes nothing in particular. John is a 29 year old male, living in Chicago; he likes nothing in particular, and he dislikes nothing in particular. Ferdinand is a 31 year old male, living in Chicago; he likes computers, and he dislikes nothing in particular.

You then decide how many will end up dead and how many will end up married.

In the end: 1 person has died. Betty is married to John and happily in love; she had nothing, now she has money. John is married to Betty and happily in love; he had money, now he has Betty.

(thanks Philipp)

[ Love Story Generator ]

Future Husband/Wife's Name Generator.

Ever wanted to know what the name of your future partner will be? Probably not, but here you can find out anyway!

The Generator is going to marry Ethel Robertson.
I hear wedding bells!

[ Future Husband/Wife's Name Generator ]

Japanese Name Generator.

Here's another Japanese Name Generator.

The Generator's Japanese name is :Sakamoto Kazuma which means 'book of the hill, one reality.'

[ Japanese Name Generator ]

Crossword Generator.

Just add a few words to a blank crossword puzzle, then click Generate to produce a crossword with those words.



[ Crossword Generator ]

Mission Statement Generator.

With the Dilbert Mission Statement Generator you can create buzzword-filled sentences and watch the promotions follow!

The customer can count on us to enthusiastically administrate prospective opportunities as well as to synergistically utilize economically sound methods of empowerment while maintaining the highest standards.

[ Mission Statement Generator ]

Domain Name Generator.

In need for a new domain name? The Domain Name Generator will do just that, generate random domains every time you load it to inspire you!

[ Domain Name Generator ]

Dave Barry Column Generator.

Dave Barry's columns are published every Friday on his web site at the Miami Herald. But if you can't wait that long, you can use this generator to make a column yourself.

Recently in Paris (motto: "escargots"), residents reported an outbreak of funny mushrooms. Perhaps you think there are no funny mushrooms in Paris. Perhaps you are an idiot. As the French say, au contraire (literally: "Why didn't I get any mayonaise with these fries?!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader Harry, whose name can be rearranged to spell "HYARR", although that is not my main point.

My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup, meaning "doing", and de grace, meaning "nothing". The Paris city council thinks that they (the funny mushrooms) will eventually go away.

[ Dave Barry Column Generator ]

Website Idea Generator.

If you're a web developer, or any kind of digital entrepeneur, the new Web Site Idea Generator can help you brainstorm your new business.

A Japanese interactive fiction that revolutionizes radio stations in vital clusters or A text-to-fragrance device that outperforms colleagues in street-smart design issues.

[ Website Idea Generator ]

Word Generator.

Here's another Word Generator.
It's an exercise in finding meaning in nonsense.

The Generator created these new words:
twaltition, uvipedant, sloigable, aucaudance and livan.

[ Word Generator ]

Band and Song Name Generator.

Create your own band name and pick a song title as an extra, like:

Generator Snail and the Friendly Waiters with Puffy Purpose.

[ Band and Song Name Generator ]

Fantasy Name Generator.

One of the perks of creating fantasy stories is you get to make up the names. Some people relish the task while others are frustrated by it. Some like it but can't seem to create names that are diverse enough. Fantasy Name Generator is a tool that can help you.

The Generator made these names:
Grunphankle, Bokthunph. Blomphknock and Clidiotwimp

[ Fantasy Name Generator ]

Goth Quote Generator.

Nothing jazzes up a goth site like a depressing, self-absorbed, and/or morbid quote in a nice red font. The Goth Quote Generator will obligingly churn out quotes for our nation's mascara-wearing, black-lace-enshrouded masses. May the peace of the grave be yours always, or something like that.



[ Goth Quote Generator ]